I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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