so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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