Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
