This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
