Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
