Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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