You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
