I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
