i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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