Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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