We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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