This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
