then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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