i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
