we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
