And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
