I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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