I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
