their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
