If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
