oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
