I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
