I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just invented taco cereal.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize