I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
