Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
