Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
