She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize