I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Let's paint friendship bongs
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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