I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
