he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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