how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
