The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
