One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
