Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
His hands were made for my vagina.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Randomize
