why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
