I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
