Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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