My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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