The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
