so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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