grandma shit on top of the toilet
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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