Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
