addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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