That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
