I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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