their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
This house was built for laser tag.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
