If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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