Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
