...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
