I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
