How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
